Summary

Summary

The initial four phases of relationships are a natural progression when individuals meet and decide to commit to a relationship and when the relationship is healthy. The deforming and mourning phases are also a natural process for one partner should the other die. In dysfunctional relationships, the deforming and mourning phases are applicable to both partners and are generally associated with an inability to manage appropriately the ‘storming’ phase of the relationship. It is the last two phases of a relationship, in the context of a badly managed ‘storming’ phase that is the primary focus of this course. We are writing about dysfunctional relationships, which have deformed, the turmoil associated with the deforming process and the mourning phase. These are necessary stages after the ending of such relationships. If you have been in a relationship that set up and maintained bad habits in dealing with conflict and which broke down, it is absolutely necessary to manage these two phases (i.e., deforming and mourning), before you can move on to a healthy relationship in the future.

If, however, you happen to have been in an unhealthy relationship, then it is necessary to incorporate protective behaviours for yourself and those around you in the ‘deforming’ and ‘mourning’ phases. Believe us, a bitter ex is not about to allow you to move through these stages easily. If you do not protect yourself and those around you (particularly if you have children and/or a new partner), and if you have not moved through the deforming and mourning processes appropriately, then honestly you are setting up any new relationship in which you might engage for failure. You will be bringing baggage into a new relationship, with which most ordinary people cannot appropriately deal. It is unfair of you to expect your new partner to deal with the difficulties of forming, storming and performing in a new relationship, with the added burden and complication of having to deal with your ex.  Not many women have the capacity to do so! In fact, and beware, the only type of person who may have the capacity to deal with the difficulties of entering a new relationship with you when you bring the unprocessed baggage from a relationship with a bitter ex, will be a future, bitter ex! She understands the dynamic of your previous relationship with your ex-partner. You would not believe the number of men who told us stories of having a series of relationships with the same person. If we want something to change, we need to do something different.

Copyright © Mens Toolbox. All Rights Reserved.
0
    0
    Your Course Selection
    Your cart is emptyReturn to Courses