What Are You Avoiding When Your Life Is Unbalanced?
In the hustle and bustle of life, it is easy for men to fall into the trap of overdoing, believing that it is essential for success and providing for their families. Yet is this simply a way of making yourself unavailable? What are you avoiding? Do you engage in over working, being fixated on your gym or exercise workout, or do you disappear into regular drinking sessions with your mates or alone or do you vanish into the digital world of socials or gaming? What are you avoiding?
A point in case: imagine a man, who for years, poured himself into his career, sacrificing precious moments with his loved ones. Little did he realise that his excessive workload was merely a shield, a coping mechanism to avoid confronting the underlying issues in his relationships.
For a long time, he took pride in being the breadwinner, justifying his long hours at the office as a means to secure a better future for his family. However, as time passed, he began to recognise that his absence was causing more harm than good. It became clear that his overworking was a distraction from the emotional turmoil brewing within his relationships.
After much self-reflection, he acknowledged that his fear of addressing the unresolved issues in his relationships was the driving force behind his over committing. He was avoiding the feelings of sadness, anger, and hurt that had been simmering beneath the surface. Instead of communicating openly with his partner and loved ones, he buried himself in work, hoping that productivity would overshadow the cracks in their relationships.
A turning point came when he found himself working late into the night, feeling utterly drained and disconnected from those he cared about the most. It was then that he realised that his overworking was merely a band-aid for the deeper wounds he had been neglecting. He knew that he needed to take a step back, reevaluate his priorities, and confront the uncomfortable truths that he had been avoiding.
Confronting his avoidance of relationship issues was not easy. It required open and honest communication, vulnerability, and a willingness to address the underlying emotions that had been festering for far too long. He had to learn to set boundaries between work and personal life, prioritise quality time with his loved ones, and seek professional help to navigate the complexities of his relationships.
While the journey to confronting his relationship issues was daunting, it was undeniably transformative. By acknowledging the emotional barriers that had led him to overwork, he was able to rebuild trust, foster deeper connections, and create a healthier, more fulfilling dynamic within his relationships. He learned that true strength lies in vulnerability and that avoiding difficult conversations only perpetuates the cycle of overworking and disconnection.
In retrospect, he wished he had recognised the detrimental impact of overworking on his relationships sooner. He urges other men who may find themselves in a similar situation to take a step back and evaluate whether their excessive workload is a shield from addressing deeper emotional issues. Confronting relationship issues takes courage, but the rewards of fostering healthier, more meaningful connections far outweigh the temporary escape of overworking.
If you are engaging in avoidance behaviours we would suggest that you check out our Relationship Challenges Blog. And to help you negotiate difficulties in relationships check out our DV Course and our Safe Word Course.