November 2025

Invisible Leash

Ray’s story

I never thought it could happen to me. Stalking and harassment were things I had heard about in movies or read in the news, but I never imagined I would be a target. Yet there I was living a nightmare that seemed to have no end in sight.

It all started innocently enough. I met Rachel at a friend’s party a couple of years ago. We hit it off right away, and soon we were spending all our free time together. She was charming, funny, and beautiful – everything I thought I wanted in a partner.

But as time went on, things started to change. Rachel became increasingly possessive, checking my phone and demanding to know where I was and who I was with at all times. At first, I thought it was just a phase, a sign of her insecurity, but it soon became clear that it was something more sinister.

When I tried to break things off with her, that was when the real nightmare began. Rachel started showing up unannounced at my home, following me to work, calling me and sending me endless messages. At first, I tried to reason with her, to explain that our relationship was over and that she needed to move on. But she would not listen. She became increasingly volatile, threatening me and anyone she thought I might be seeing.

I was living in a constant state of stress. Every time my phone rang or there was a knock on my door, my heart would race. I was always wondering if it was her. I started avoiding going to places I used to go to and I changed my routine in a futile attempt to shake her off. But she always seemed to find me, no matter what I did.

I tried reaching out to the authorities, but without concrete evidence of physical harm, there was little they would do. I felt like they were not taking me seriously because I am a man and Rachel is a woman. I felt trapped, like there was no one to turn to for help.

My friends and family tried to support me, but they had no way of really understanding the nightmare that had taken over my life. Eventually they started realising the severity of Rachel’s actions and how it was impacting me when I shared with them the relentless messages from her and stories about her stalking behaviours.

As the weeks turned into months, Rachel’s stalking continued relentlessly. I began to feel like a shell of my former self and found myself withdrawing from friends and family. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, afraid to let my guard down for even a moment. The stress and anxiety started to take a toll on my health, affecting my work and my relationships with those around me.

One day, I received an envelope in the mail. Inside was a photo of me, taken from a distance, going about my daily routine. There was a note attached, written in Rachel’s handwriting, taunting me with details only she would know. That was the moment I knew I had to take drastic action.

I hired a private investigator to gather evidence of Rachel’s harassment. With their help, we were able to document her actions, from the endless calls and messages to her uninvited visits to my home and workplace. Armed with this evidence, I went back to the Police, and this time they took me seriously.

A restraining Order was issued against Rachel, and she was forced to stay away from me. It was a relief to know that I finally had some legal protection, but the fear did not disappear overnight. I still lived with the constant worry that she would disregard the Order and come after me again.

It has been a long road to recovery, and the scars from that experience will never fully heal. With therapy and the help of friends and family I have come a long way and my mental health is improving. I have become more cautious in my relationships and I am now more aware of the signs of a toxic relationship.

The biggest lessons I learned were that being stalked can happen to anyone regardless of gender and the importance of providing evidence when reporting stalking behaviour to Police.

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If this story has caused you any distress please contact Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 or Lifeline Crisis Support

The stories in this calendar are based on actual experiences. The names are changed to protect the identity of the individuals who shared their story.