September 2025
Shattered Trust
Hamish’s story
A year ago, I was living a picture-perfect life. I had a loving wife, two great kids and a job I enjoyed going to each day. I really only started to notice a change about six months ago. It all began with subtle hints by my wife of discontent in our marriage. Megan grew distant, spending more time on her phone and less time engaging with our family. I tried to talk to her, to understand what was bothering her, but she always brushed me off, claiming she was just tired or stressed from work. I tried all the things that the media suggest you should do like date nights, taking over much of the day-to-day housework and running the kids around, all to try and reduce Megan’s stress but none of it made a difference.
Then, one night, Megan dropped a bombshell. She accused me of infidelity, claiming she knew I had been seeing someone else. I was dumbfounded! I was committed to our marriage and never even thought about cheating, never mind the fact that there is no way I would have the time or energy to do so! Despite my claims of innocence and a complete lack of evidence, Megan angrily told me that I was a bad husband, an irresponsible dad, a liar and a cheat. It was devastating to have the one person I trusted more than anyone else, turn on me like this. What I thought was a pretty good family life was being destroyed by these confusing allegations.
Megan’s accusations continued to escalate. She next accused me of stealing money from our joint account to pay for my affair and she even began to question the safety of our kids. None of it was true. None of it made any sense. There was no evidence or even any logic to her claims but she seemed so convinced that even I started to question what I was doing to cause her distrust. I did not realise until later that Megan had been sharing her concerns with others.
I had noticed that friends and family seemed more distant but did not think much of it with all that was happening, until a mate of mine confronted me. I came to realise that Megan had told everyone, including our kids, that I was cheating on her and ruining our marriage. The people I needed for support and understanding all seemed to take her side. It was so confusing that despite my innocence, my life was crumbling around me.
I found myself facing a harsh reality. My marriage was over, my reputation trashed, and my relationship with my children under threat. My kids still loved me, I knew that, but I was so worried that the accusations of their mother would start to poison them against me. Through it all I had clung to the belief that the truth would come out but it just did not happen. Megan had created a narrative with me as the villain and everyone was listening. I realised that it was pointless to try to fix what did not want to be fixed and decided to separate from my wife.
In the end, I learned a harsh lesson about trust and betrayal. I found out that Megan was the one having the affair. But I also learned about how easily the ones closest to us can turn into our fiercest enemies. I became a changed man, scarred but wiser, knowing that life’s twists and turns can lead us down unexpected paths, testing our resilience and strength in ways we never thought possible.
I started seeing a psychologist because I was so confused about what was going on. She confirmed that Megan’s behaviours during the ending of our relationship were consistent with someone having an affair and trying to blame the other partner. Megan never took responsibility for her own actions.
With my psychologist’s help and the support of those friends and family who stuck by me, I managed to get through the next few months and even started to find things to enjoy again. I am struggling to get access to my kids, which is heartbreaking. But I am guided by lawyers who are helping me with the process of formalising an arrangement so I can see my kids.
It is hard to look back over the last year to see how my life has changed and how someone I thought loved me could turn against me so completely. With the help and resources from my psychologist, lawyer and my support network, I am rebuilding and can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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The stories in this calendar are based on actual experiences. The names are changed to protect the identity of the individuals who shared their story.
