Hi, I’m just a kid, but I’ve noticed a lot about my parents and how they act. Sometimes, I wonder what they’re really teaching me just by the way they behave every day. I see how they talk to each other, handle problems, and deal with feelings. It’s like I’m always watching, learning, and trying to figure out what’s okay and what’s not.

What I See Matters a Lot

You probably don’t realise how much I pick up on from your actions. When you’re kind and respectful to each other, I feel safe and happy. I learn that treating others well is important. But when I see yelling, ignoring each other, or disrespect, I start thinking that’s normal. I wonder if that’s how relationships are supposed to be.

The Good Stuff I Notice

When you handle disagreements calmly, I see that conflict can be solved without hurting feelings. When you show patience and apologise when you’re wrong, I learn it’s okay to admit mistakes. Watching you work hard and stay honest makes me want to be like you. I want to grow up kind, respectful, and strong too.

The Hard Stuff I Witness

Sometimes, I see my parents fighting or being upset with each other. I don’t always understand why, but I feel worried and sad. It’s confusing because I love both of you. When the fighting is constant or mean, I start to think maybe I’m the reason or that I’m not good enough. It’s hard to see people I love not getting along.

What I Wish You Knew

I wish you knew how much I notice and how it affects me. When you stay in a relationship that’s unhealthy or full of anger, I see that as okay. But I want you to know I deserve to see love and respect, not constant conflict. I want to grow up watching you treat each other and yourselves with kindness.

Can We Do Better?

I guess being a parent isn’t easy, and everyone makes mistakes. But I hope you can show me what healthy love looks like. It’s okay to ask for help or take time to fix things. I want to learn that it’s okay to set boundaries and take care of yourself, too.

My Wish for Us

I hope you can lead by example. Show me how to be honest, kind, and respectful. Show me how to handle tough times without hurting each other. Because the way you act teaches me what’s right and wrong. I want to grow up in a home where love, trust, and respect are always there even if it is two homes.

In the End

I’m watching you every day, learning from what you do. If you can be kind, honest, and respectful, I’ll learn to do the same. Just like if you are mean. I want to grow up knowing that love is gentle, strong, and real. Please lead by example, because I’m always watching – and I’m always learning.

Check out our other blogs for further information, or you may be interested in completing one of our online programs. Alternatively, you may wish to speak with one of our consultants to learn more about how we can support you.

Parenting is arguably one of the most challenging and rewarding roles we can undertake. Every action, word, and decision we make shapes our children’s understanding of the world and influences their future behaviour. At the heart of effective parenting is the question: Are you leading by example? Specifically, are the behaviours you model in your daily life aligning with the values and principles you wish to instil in your children?

In this blog, we will explore the importance of leading by example, what children observe and internalise from their parents, and a particularly delicate topic – staying in unhealthy relationships for the sake of the kids. We will examine how these choices impact children’s development and what parents can do to foster healthy and respectful environments for their children to thrive.

The Power of Leading by Example

Children are perceptive observers. They learn more from what they see us do than from what we tell them. The adage “actions speak louder than words” holds especially true in parenting. When children witness their parents’ demonstrating kindness, resilience, honesty, and respect, they are more likely to emulate these qualities.

Conversely, if children observe behaviours such as dishonesty, anger, neglect, or unhealthy relationship dynamics, they may come to see these behaviours as normal or acceptable. This is why self-awareness and intentionality are crucial for parents. Modelling integrity, compassion, patience, and healthy communication sets a foundation for children to develop these traits themselves.

What Are Your Kids Watching?

Children are constantly absorbing cues from their environment. Here are some critical areas where parental behaviour influences children:

• Relationships and Communication: How parents interact with each other and others teaches children about conflict resolution, respect, and emotional regulation.
• Handling Stress and Challenges: Children observe how parents cope with setbacks and stress—do they face difficulties constructively or with negativity?
• Work Ethic and Responsibility: Observing parents’ attitudes toward work, chores, and commitments shapes children’s understanding of responsibility.
• Values and Morals: The principles parents uphold, whether through words or actions, influence children’s moral compass.
• Emotional Expression: Parents who openly express feelings and discuss emotions foster emotional intelligence in their children.

Understanding that kids watch and imitate these behaviours highlights the importance of modelling positive traits consistently.

Ultimately children learn more from what we do than what we say. By modelling healthy behaviours, respectful relationships, and self-awareness, we shape their future. Leading by example creates a foundation of trust, love and integrity thus teaching them how to navigate life with kindness, resilience, and honesty.

NOTE: To read PART 2 of this blog, click HERE