August 2025

False Allegations

Dale’s story

When I separated from my partner, I thought that would be the end of that chapter of my life and I could move on. How wrong I was? I had no way of knowing the extent of legal trouble and social difficulty I would have to endure. Soon after I ended the relationship, my ex-partner took out a Domestic Violence Order [DVO] against me, claiming that I had been abusive in our relationship.

I was shocked when I was served with the Order, surely there had been a mistake. I had never laid a hand on her and I had prided myself on always being able to communicate calmly, regardless of the situation. Sure, we had our arguments, like any other couple, but to suggest that I was abusive in any way, seemed ridiculous to me. If she actually believed this, why had she waited until now to make a complaint? Despite this, when I spoke to my lawyer, he confirmed that the application was legitimate and serious. She had clearly created a story painting me as the villain.

Despite my innocence, my lawyer recommended that I respect the Court’s process, consent without admissions and comply with the terms of any Order the Court determined. After all, why would I want to interact with someone who was making false accusations against me? Why would I need to have any contact with her in the future if the relationship was over? This made sense to me. The Order was made and I kept my distance from her but I was hoping that the truth would eventually come to light. Little did I know, she had other plans in mind.

My ex started baiting me, sending provocative messages and showing up at places where she knew I would be. I could tell she was trying to provoke a reaction from me, trying to make me breach the Order. As much as I wanted to defend myself, I knew that the only way to clear my name was to stay calm, no matter how much she tried to push my buttons. It was a cruel game, and I refused to play along. I avoided all contact. As the months went by, her behaviour became more erratic and her taunting escalated. I had started taking contemporaneous notes about the dates, times and details of her efforts to interact, as per my lawyer’s guidance. This was done to protect myself from further potential false accusations.

One day, everything came to a head. My ex orchestrated a meet-up, claiming that she wanted to talk things out and find closure so we could both move on. Against my better judgment, I agreed to meet her in a public place, hoping that we could finally put an end to this toxic cycle of manipulation, gaslighting and her trying to ruin me. As soon as I arrived, she attacked me verbally with accusations and wild claims that made no sense. I realised quickly that she had no interest in moving on but was focused on trying to have a fight. She was trying to gain the upper hand. I got up immediately and walked away, leaving her fuming and frustrated.

I quickly learned that she had made a complaint to the police that I had verbally attacked her and I was charged with breaching the DVO. The following weeks were exhausting. I immediately sought legal advice and because I had made a habit of doing contemporaneous notes and had kept records which supported my defence I was able to fight the breach allegations and the terms of the original Order.

This was a challenging period in my life. I felt like every move I made was scrutinised and it felt like the whole world was against me, but I refused to give up. With the help from family and friends who knew the truth I fought tooth and nail to clear my name.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the truth came to light. It was revealed that she had fabricated evidence against me and manipulated the situation to her advantage. The Court eventually discharged the breach and dropped the DVO. I was exonerated of all charges. It was a bittersweet victory, knowing that I had lost so much in the process. It took ages for me to recover emotionally, financially and in terms of my reputation. I do know however that I will be more cautious in future relationships.

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The stories in this calendar are based on actual experiences. The names are changed to protect the identity of the individuals who shared their story.